Tremble
by casketto
Summary: What does Christmas hold in store for Castle and Beckett?
1. Chapter 1

**I'm DYING for a Castle Christmas and since we aren't going to get one, I thought I'd write one. The title is from the Charlotte Martin song of the same name. I first heard it on a Castle fan vid on Youtube and, in my opinion, is the perfect Caskett song.**

**Castle is not mine.**

He stood outside her door and shook the snow from his hair. He wouldn't admit it to himself but he was stalling. He was still unsure as to whether this was such a good idea. She'd never taken too kindly to him just showing up and, regardless of the date, he doubted her opinion would be any different. He raised his hand to knock on the door but then thought better of it. He leant his ear towards the door. It hadn't occurred to him that she may have plans. He held his breath, he couldn't hear anything. Maybe she wasn't even there. Maybe she had gone to visit her dad. He cursed himself, her Dad, of course she would go and see her dad. Idiot. As he turned to walk away, convincing himself it had been a waste of time, he heard something. It wasn't a loud noise, more like a faint hum but he definitely heard it. Before his brain had time to engage with his arm he was knocking on the door. Dammit. His throat went dry. He suddenly realised that he didn't really have any reason to be here, other than he missed her, but he couldn't, wouldn't, tell her that. His heart rate increased as he heard her footsteps on the wooden floor. He ran his hand through his now wet hair and plastered on a smile.

"Castle? Hey. What are you doing here? Is everything ok?" He was the last person she expected to see on her doorstep today.

"Hey. I.."

"Come in Castle you're freezing…and soaked. Still snowing huh?" He hadn't realised just how cold he was until she had mentioned it. Now, all of a sudden the sound of his teeth chattering was all he could hear.

"Coffee?" He nodded and sat on her couch. As she busied herself with making coffee he took in his surroundings. He had been here many times but today something was different. He couldn't put his finger on it but something wasn't quite right.

"So, why are you here?" She'd never been one to beat around the bush. He was expecting her question, he just hadn't prepared an answer.

"I just…wait…you haven't got a tree" That was it, that's what was wrong. He looked over at her, she was biting her lip and looking down into her coffee.

"It's no big deal Castle. I'm hardly ever here so I didn't really see the point."

"But it's Christmas day! You have to have a Christmas tree, if only to put all your gifts under!" She closed her eyes for perhaps a tenth of a second but he noticed. He was such an idiot.

"Well I don't really have any gifts." She laughed, desperately trying to make a joke but failing miserably. She could see that he looked uncomfortable. She didn't want him to think he'd made her sad. Quite the opposite actually. Not that she would ever admit that.

"What I mean is that my dad usually just gives me a cheque and I don't really have any other family…" She didn't really know where she wanted to go with the rest of the sentence.

"Kate…"

"Castle, I'm fine. Christmas was my Moms thing and since she died it's never really been the same. My dad tries but he would much rather spend the holidays fishing. I sent him off to his cabin yesterday. And I…well I decided to catch up on my reading" She smiled. She genuinely was having an ok day. Castle smiled when he noticed the book she was reading.

"I couldn't think of a better way to spend Christmas" He joked.

"So, Castle, You never answered my question. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be playing with your new train set?" The way she smiled at him almost bought tears to his eyes. He'd never been a sappy romantic, in fact he was pretty sure he'd never been in love before now. He made the decision on the spot. He had to tell her. Just not here.

"I..came to give you your Christmas present" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He was mentally going through his pockets to see if he had anything he could pass off as a gift that was good enough for the woman he loved.

"Really?" She narrowed her eyes. She didn't believe him but there was a reason he'd chosen to come see her over spending Christmas day with his daughter. Alexis!

"What about Alexis?"

"What about her?" He was confused.

"Why aren't you at home with her?"

"She's spending the evening with Ashley and his family. And don't worry I haven't deserted my mother, she deserted me actually." He pouted slightly.

"Aaah was poor Ricky lonely?" She chided. He looked so cute she almost leant over and pinched his cheek. She coloured at the near miss, something not lost on Castle. She swallowed hard and made a move to get off the couch.

"So…my Christmas present. Whad'ya get me? A pony?" Castle was deep in thought.

"Go put something warm on. We're going out." He got off the couch and totally miscalculated their distance. They were nose to nose. Kate had to literally squash down the gasp that played at the back of her throat.

"Where are we going?" She whispered.

"You'll see." He whispered back. All he had to do was move less than an inch and his lips would be on hers. He could even claim it as an accident. He was certain that she had looked down at his lips. As her tongue darted out to lick her lips he realised that he had to move or he was going to lose control. He took a step back.

"You'll need a hat. It's still snowing" He said, gesturing to the window. She nodded and walked wordlessly to her bedroom. Once she was inside and the door was closed she let out the breath that she was unaware she had been holding. She didn't know what Castle was up to but she trusted him and she was almost tingling with excitement at spending time with him outside the precinct. She had to admit to herself that she was also a little excited about the prospect of receiving a gift, everyone liked gifts. _Shit! _She hadn't even thought about the fact that she hadn't got anything for him. She'd never really bought gifts for friends. Friends. Was that really all they were? A sound in the lounge reminded her that she probably shouldn't be analysing their relationship at this precise moment. She pulled her favourite jeans out of the dresser and threw a hooded sweater over her head. She had no clue where they were going but considering what Castle was wearing, it was nowhere fancy. Before she had any more time to dwell on it she strode purposefully through the door.

"You ready?" Castle hadn't heard her come through the door and spun round from his position by the book case. He looked her up and down and smiled.

"Let's go" He held his arm out for her and she took it. She grabbed her coat and hat as they exited her apartment and headed for the elevator. She didn't let go of his arm until they were descending to the ground floor. Castle helped her into her coat like a true gentleman and she pulled her hat over her head. They smiled at each other. Neither of them knowing exactly what the evening held in store but both knowing that whatever it was, it would be a Christmas they wouldn't forget in a hurry.


	2. Chapter 2

**I just want to stress one thing before you read this. I have only been to New York once, on my honeymoon 6 years ago, I'm not 'up' on the geography of the city so I apologise for any mistakes.**

**Castle and Beckett aren't mine.**

The air outside was biting cold but neither Kate nor Rick felt it. It was still early evening but the streets were almost deserted. The only sound they could hear was the snow crunching beneath their feet.

"So where are we going Rick?" The use of his first name made him smile. It was happening more and more frequently just lately and he liked it. He really liked it.

"All will be revealed Detective. Don't worry, it's not far." He automatically put his arm around her to keep her warm, it seemed like the most natural thing to do. He shivered when she put her head on his shoulder. It had nothing to do with the temperature. They walked in silence for a few blocks until they reached their destination.

"The park? Seriously?" She was confused. Castle answered by tightening his grip on her and guiding her along the path.

"You know it's actually quite dangerous to be in the park this time of night."

"You're a cop. And unless you're really pleased to see me…I know you have your gun." The last part came out in a whisper as if to throw 'bad guys' off the scent. She giggled. This was new. Kate Beckett didn't giggle.

"You bought me to the zoo Castle?"

"What? No, over there." He watched as she strained to see what he was pointing at. Her eyes grew wide and the smile that appeared threatened to split her face in two.

"No way!" She let go of him and turned to face him "Seriously?"

"Am I to assume, judging from your reaction, that you like it?"

"Castle I love it! How did you know?"

"You showed me pictures. Of you and your Mom." The smile on her face faltered slightly and she seemed to get lost in a memory.

"Thank you Rick" There it was, his first name again. He reached for her hand and was surprised to feel her squeeze it that bit tighter.

"Come on. I'm dying to see you on the ice" She giggled again and the smile was back. If bringing her here could make her smile like that hell he'd bring her here every day if he had to.

Kate went and sat on one of the benches while Rick went to sort out some ice skates. When he sauntered over she felt herself warm up instantly.

"Hey, you only have one pair of skates!" She exclaimed.

"You want to spend Christmas in the ER?"

"Castle, if we're doing this, we're doing it together!" The look that she shot him reminded him that she carried a gun!

"Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you."

While he went back for more skates, Kate laced her boots and took in her surroundings. She hadn't been here since before her mom had died. She was always afraid that coming back would be too painful. But as she sat looking at the families on the ice laughing and having fun she realised that these were good memories to have. She looked over to where Rick was and suddenly realised how much of a risk he took with this. There was no guarantee that she would have been happy being here. He knew that she used to come here with her mom. It showed just how well he knew her and how much he cared about her. Her face ached from smiling so much. If she needed any proof of just how much he loved her, this was it. When she had been shot he'd said it. She'd heard it but she couldn't shake the feeling that it was just the situation that had forced the confession. She had wanted to mention it, so many times, but she wasn't sure she was ready for the conversation. The truth was, she loved him back and it scared her silly.

"Hey, you ok?" She hadn't heard him sit down beside her, a jolt of electricity shot through her as he touched her arm.

"I'm great Castle, really great. Now get your boots on and let's go"

He wasn't kidding. He was not meant to skate on the ice. He was not meant to walk on the ice. He watched as Kate literally glided across the ice. She passed him 5, maybe 6, times before he'd even moved 10 yards. He clung to the side railings as if his life depended on it. He really wasn't concentrating on what he was doing and didn't see the boy in front of him until it was too late. He lost his footing and ended up on his ass. He muttered several expletives before he felt a warm hand wrap around his own.

"You weren't joking Castle" She helped pull him onto his feet and couldn't help laughing at the wounded expression on his face.

"Come on" She laced her fingers with his and began to guide him around the ice.

"Beckett you're going to have to slow down" The panic in his eyes made her laugh out loud.

"Castle if you hate this so much why'd you bring me?"

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and thrust it in her face. "For this"

It was a picture of her. He'd taken it while he was waiting in line for skates. He'd been mesmerized by the look on her face and he wanted to remember every detail of it. He'd never seen her smile so brightly and so openly. As he watched her face now he realised that it actually might come across as a bit creepy.

"That's creepy Castle" She smiled as she said it and nudged his shoulder with affection. She must have knocked him harder than she thought because the next thing she knew his arms were wrapped round her and he was leaning on her for support. Her breath caught in her throat and she had to remind herself to breathe. Why was she fighting this? The more she thought about it, the more it just didn't make any sense.

"Come on Castle. I'll buy you a coffee." The relief was evident across his face. She giggled again. What was with all the giggling tonight!

"I'm sorry Beckett. I guess I didn't really think this through." He looked genuinely upset now.

"Hey, Castle, It's fine. I've had a really good time but my fingertips are going blue. How am I supposed to shoot bad guys with no fingers?" She smiled warmly at him and he couldn't help but smile back.

"Coffee it is then."

They found a cart not far from the ice rink and ordered their usual. As Kate made her way to a bench to sit down, Rick suddenly had an idea.

"No sitting" He said as he grabbed Kate's elbow with his hand.

"Where are we going now?" She pretended to be annoyed but she couldn't hide the grin that was lighting up her face.

"You'll see."

They fell into a comfortable silence as they walked. Kate was starting to wish she had bought her gloves as she willed her coffee not to cool down in the freezing temperatures. As she dropped her free hand by her side Castle took the opportunity to grab it. His hand felt soft and warm. She smiled into her coffee.

"So Castle, I never asked, what did you get for Christmas?"

"Alexis bought me a climbatron!" And there was the 9 year old that used to annoy the hell out of her.

"I'm probably going to regret this, but what is a climbatron?" She listened as he excitedly told her about the 'acro-bot'. Apparently it climbs up windows and, well, not much else actually but the way his eyes sparkled when he spoke about his morning opening presents with his mother and Alexis made up her mind. She was going to have to tell him. And she was going to have to tell him now.

"Rick?" But he didn't hear her.

"We're here. " She hadn't even been paying attention to where they had been going. She looked around and was still none the wiser. Rick softly put his hand on her shoulder and turned her to her right. She gasped.

"Beautiful" She whispered.

Rick had to agree. But he was willing to bet that they weren't talking about the same thing.

**To be continued…..**


	3. Chapter 3

**Final chapter…..I think! As I said I'm not 'up' on the geography of New York so I have no idea if it would take 2 minutes or 2 hours to get from Central park to Rockefeller centre!**

**I don't own Castle or Beckett**

"Castle. I don't know what to say." She had seen the sight in front of her countless times but in all the years that she'd lived in New York, she'd never been so close. Everything about the scene in front of her, the tree, The Rockefeller centre in the background, the families who'd travelled from all corners of the world, all of it, reminded her why she loved this city so much. She turned to look at him and found herself looking directly into his blue eyes.

"You don't have to say anything Kate" He whispered. Their faces were mere millimetres apart. He lifted his hand and gently touched her cheek. Her eyes fluttered shut.

"I remember" She held her breath. If she was reading the situation correctly then she had to bring this up now. She needed to be honest with him before she took that final leap. Once she kissed him, that would be it, everything would change and she couldn't start something on a lie.

"I know" He wasn't making any attempt to move. Her eyes flew open.

"You know? How?"

"Do you remember how you said that I didn't know you? How I thought I did but I didn't?" Kate shuddered at the memory but nodded her head.

"Well, detective, turns out you were wrong." He smiled softly. "I do know you Kate. I know that what I said probably scared you and I know that you think the confession was born out of the situation but that couldn't be further from the truth. I said what I said because I meant it, the thought of losing you without you knowing that is something I wouldn't have been able to accept. You were always going to hear those words from my mouth but, hey, you know me, I wasn't just going to say it over coffee, where's the story in that?" they were both smiling now.

"How long have you known?"

"The hospital. Do you realise that you actually say an awful lot with just your eyes? You said that you didn't remember, but your eyes were saying 'I remember, but I'm not ready to address it at the moment'. So I waited." He shrugged "Patiently I might add" She smiled again and in that moment she truly believed that he would wait for her forever.

"So what do we do now?" She asked almost scared to hear the answer.

"Well, with your permission of course, I would like to kiss you." She smiled in response and grabbed the lapel of his jacket. Their lips met almost desperately and instantly melted into one. Despite the rapidly dropping temperature, Castle's lips were warm and tasted like coffee, she smiled at the irony. Kate could feel herself getting lost in the kiss as she felt his tongue caress her bottom lip. The sound of a group of carol singers bought her back to earth with a thud and she reluctantly broke away from him.

"Not here Castle" She gasped.

He smiled at the reaction his kiss had on her and pulled her in for a hug. His heart was pounding out of his chest and he was certain she could feel it through her thick layers. She felt him pull away from him and he looked down to meet her gaze.

"Take me home Castle."

They walked in a comfortable silence, neither of them able to form any kind of coherent sentences or phrases after the events of the evening. Castle's thoughts were solely on the woman next to him. The woman he would truly describe as the love of his life. They had known each other for nigh on 4 years, they had been through more in that short time than many married couples would go through in an entire life time and he still wanted more. He wanted the little things. He wanted to stay at home on a Saturday night and watch trashy reality TV. He wanted to make her breakfast in bed. He just wanted to hold her hand.

They got to her apartment in what felt like no time at all. She didn't ask him to come up, she didn't have to. As they rode the elevator he squeezed her hand and flashed her his trade mark lopsided grin that could make her heart melt into a pool at the pit of her stomach. As she put her key in the door she felt him close behind her and was only then aware how nervous she was. She threw her keys on the table and began peeling off her layers. Her jeans were soaked due to the snow and her hair was a matted mess.

"I'm just going to jump in the shower. You want to choose a movie or something?"

"Is that an invitation Detective?" He playfully waggled his eyebrows but thought better of it when she glared at him. "Movie? Gotcha."

While she was in the shower he took the opportunity to really look round her apartment, it was all he could do to 'forget' that there was a wet, naked Beckett in the next room. He found a DVD and set it down on the coffee table. He heard the water turn off and he immediately sat down on the couch. His heart was racing and he couldn't keep still. What the hell was wrong with him? He picked up the book that she'd been reading when he came over, it was one of his, 'At dusk we die'. He smiled, only die hard Richard Castle fans owned this one. He flipped open the first page and recognised his own handwriting. _To Kate, Thank you for reading, Richard Castle. _He'd often teased her about being a huge fan but he hadn't realised that he was right. He'd met her. He'd met her long before she'd arrested him. He desperately tried to remember but it was pointless. He'd met so many people at these book signings that everyone's faces started to look the same after a while. He heard movement from the bedroom and replaced the book to it's former position. If she wanted him to know that she'd met him before she would have already said. The door opened and the sight that greeted him made his heart stop. She tiptoed across the hard cold floor barefooted and headed straight for the kitchen completely unaware of the reaction that the white men's shirt she'd thrown on was causing. OK so she may have had an idea but she was suddenly feeling brave. She grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and sauntered over to the couch. He hadn't taken his eyes off her since she'd exited the bedroom. She sat down next to him, closer than she ever had.

"You can't sit there next to me…looking like that." He gulped. She smiled as she swung one of her bare legs onto his lap. She inched even closer and leant in.

"Shut up and kiss me Castle."

He did as he was told. He cupped the back of her head and drew her in for possibly the most breath taking kiss that either of them had ever experienced. His free hand found it's way to her leg and he began lightly stroking up and down eliciting a moan from the back of her throat. The sound spurred him on and he deepened the kiss with his tongue. Her hands wound round his neck and sent shivers down his spine when her fingers threaded through his hair. This time it was his turn to pull away.

"We're going to have to slow down Kate" He almost growled, the regret evident in his voice.

She smiled at him wickedly and put her hands onto his chest. She slowly began to unbutton his shirt and his grip on her leg intensified.

"Kate, stop. Is this what you really want?" She answered him with another kiss. There was no backing out now. They'd already come too far to go back to being a writer and his muse or even Castle and Beckett. From now on they were Kate and Rick. Partners in crime and partners in life. She pushed herself off the couch and grabbed his hand, their beers left untouched on the coffee table. He stood before her with the look of a man in love.

"I love you too Rick" She whispered almost inaudibly. His returning smile showed that he'd heard her. "Now do you want to unwrap your Christmas present or not?" With that she lead him to the bedroom.

"Best Christmas ever!" He exclaimed as he shut the bedroom door.

**If you've read and you like I it, I thank you, and please leave a review.**


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